The Unusual Murder

"Hark!" Chris Sen proclaimed as I was walking to our dormitories. "Let us go on a long walk!"
I thoroughly agreed as I eagerly followed.
The comrades that followed were Joel (NOT I), I, Chris Sen, Chris (Not Sen), Tristan, Cody, Jaris, and Sam followed up the rear (Rear, Tee Hee).
We began our journey with Cody tearing ahead as if a coon hound chasing after it's game. Jaris closely followed up in the rear (Tee Hee).
We walked with Sam Randomly Chopping anything in It's path! I could see the fire and brimstone in his eyes. I could tell something was a foot, however, I had no proof.
We followed up in the rear (Tee Hee) and eventually caught up with the rest of our party at Ye Olde Cathedrale. We sat and jabbered away as if Magpies calling out to each other. Eventually, Chris (Not Sen), Joel (NOT I), and I, tiered of our chatting and continued on our journey. As we were walking, a sandal flew past and proceeded to hit Chris (Not Sen) on the side of the head! "Curses!" Chris Yelled out in horror "That Cocckufluey Sandal hit me in the front most part of the head!". I proceeded to fetch out the sandal out of the shrubbery.
We noticed Tristan laying prostrate in the grass with little buggies running up and down his body. We ignored the poor fellow and continued on our most tiresome journey. As we continued we heard a cry of vengeance and we took tarring off into the trees! My heart pounding like a big bass drum! We proceeded to pick up weapons from the Ye Olde Chaple. Joel (NOT I) tossed me a stick and I placed it in my knapsack. Chris (Not Sen), and Joel (NOT I) picked up remnants of the chapel and carried them along.
Cody in a rare fit of independence grabbed an antique bottle and smashed it against Ye Olde Chaple. He was left holding the bottle head in his hand and half of the shards holding him. Fully prepared, we began to sprint with sharp objects down the road. "We must make it to the safety of our warm hearth else we shall be smitten!" Called Joel (NOT I). We dashed through brush and heather, Ducking under low hanging branches and leaves. After we finally emerged into the comfort that is KBC, we collapsed into our warm blankets and survived to tell the tale.

As for me, I think that it was Sam that held the blame.
See Joel's side of Ye Olde Story.
http://joelwasso.blogspot.com/